Goodr Fast As Shell

RUNWAY GOODRS: RUNNING! FASHION!

Runway goodrs have all the running performance benefits with a universally flattering, high-fashion cateye shape. Have your cateye and eat it too!

OH YOU THOUGHT THE TORTOISE WAS SLOW?

Clearly you have been reading too many of that Aesop guy’s lies! The truth is, when you spray a little WD40 on a tortoise’s shell, flip it on its back and send it down a hill, well, they are FAST AS SHELL.* As will you be when you throw on these blue-lensed tortoiseshell shades!

Your move, Hare.

*(We do not condone the use of WD40 on live turtles. This is just a joke, people.)